


Badlaa

by scullywolf



Series: TXF: Scenes in Between [177]
Category: The X-Files
Genre: Angst, Gen, Guns, Introspection, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Missing Scene, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-04
Updated: 2017-10-04
Packaged: 2019-01-09 02:59:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,061
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12267498
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scullywolf/pseuds/scullywolf
Summary: In the aftermath of this case, Scully and Doggett's friendship takes a tiny step forward.





	Badlaa

_“Stop him! Shoot him!”_  
_“I can’t.”_

The world slows and stretches. Mulder’s voice is urgent in her ear. _Yes you can! You know the truth. You know that’s not really Trevor there. Listen to your gut and take the shot!_

The problem is that her gut is the one screaming, “No!” The logic and rationalism that she’s long held so sacred are, ironically, the ones telling her to pull the trigger. (“If that were really Trevor, he would be speaking. He would be afraid, asking you not to fire. He wouldn’t still be advancing.”) But she has been making such a concerted effort to suppress her knee-jerk skepticism, to see things as Mulder would see them, to keep an open mind, that now she’s simply paralyzed.

“Please! He’s going to kill you! He’s going to kill us all!” Quinton’s voice cracks.

“Quinton, Trevor, stop this nonsense before someone gets hurt!” Mrs. Holt cries.

_You know that’s not Trevor! Take the shot! Take the shot before it’s too late!_

Two against two. She knows Mrs. Holt is seeing the same thing she is - a boy, defenseless, unarmed. In what world can she possibly justify a terminal use of force? Her hand shakes, and everything in her rebels against the truth that Quinton sees. The one Mulder would see.

God help her if she’s right and they’re wrong.

She drops her aim at the last moment, as Trevor’s outstretched hand is nearly at her face, and fires into his hip. If she’s right, at least it won’t be a lethal shot. And if she’s wrong -- if Quinton and Mulder are right -- then that is where she needs to aim to hit the “little man” anyway.

It doesn’t make her feel better when the image of Trevor glitches before her eyes, flickering before disappearing and resolving into what Quinton saw all along. Her weapon drops and her shoulders slump; she resolutely swallows down the sob that wells up in her chest. She only distantly hears Agent Doggett enter the room and talk to her. Numbly, she turns and hands him her service weapon before walking out of the room.

When Trevor -- the real Trevor -- nearly collides with her in the hallway, she doesn’t even flinch.

***

_“This whole thing doesn’t make any sense.”  
“No… it did. In some way, it did.”_

She doesn’t want to admit, even to herself, how badly she wants a hug. She hadn’t thought it was possible to miss Mulder more than she already did, but in this moment, his absence is a sucking void that threatens to drain the life right out of her. It’s violent and all-consuming, made all the worse by the understanding that she hasn’t been so successful a surrogate for his viewpoint as she’d come to believe. She may have grown more open-minded than she used to be, but this time, it wasn’t enough. Maybe next time, it won’t be enough, either. How did she ever think she could do this?

“Agent?”

In her peripheral vision, she can see Doggett’s hand hovering over her shoulder. He sets it down, tentative, and when she doesn’t flinch or shrug it away, he gives her shoulder a gentle squeeze.

“I don’t know what kind of sense this makes to you, and I don’t know if I’ll ever understand it. But I think the bottom line is that no matter what you saw, you made the right call. I can’t be so sure I woulda done the same. So, from where I’m standing, it doesn’t matter how you got there. Point is, you got there.”

She sniffles, shaking her head. It doesn’t feel like enough. But maybe it’ll have to be.

***

Wherever Mulder’s hiding, if he’s even still alive, Doggett hopes he feels like shit. This pedestal Scully’s put him on, he sure as hell doesn’t deserve it. As far as Doggett’s concerned, “open-minded” doesn’t mean squat if you’re a selfish coward who’s run off and left your partner to try and live in your shadow for the rest of her life, never knowing what became of you.

Dana Scully is a damned good agent. More than that, she’s a damned good person. She doesn’t deserve one second of the misery Mulder’s put her through.

She turns around so fast he doesn’t have time to react, his arms freezing awkwardly in the air while she wraps hers around his ribcage. He starts to hug her back, but almost as quickly as she dove in, she jumps backward, eyes downcast and cheeks visibly reddening even in the low light outside.

“Sorry, I… I’m sorry. I don’t know why I just did that. That was unprofessional, I--.”

“No, no, it’s okay. You just startled me is all. Look, Dana--” She winces, and he shakes his head, trying again. “Agent Scully. You don’t need to apologize to me. What you’ve been through tonight, you got every right to be rattled by. So if hugging it out will help you feel better, well, that’s partners are for, right? I mean, I’d have offered earlier, but I didn’t want to overstep.”

He raises his arms again, shrugging slightly. After another moment’s hesitation, she relents and steps forward once more, accepting his meager offer of comfort. She doesn’t quite relax against him, and he’s not sure how tight to hold her, so it ends up being more of a stiff and stilted embrace than he’d have hoped for. Still, when she pulls back eventually, she doesn’t run away or refuse to look at him, so he figures it wasn’t completely the wrong move.

“Thank you, Agent Doggett.”

It makes him a little sad that she still feels this need to hold herself at a distance, like she’s still so burned from Mulder leaving that she won’t let herself get close to another partner like that again. He doesn’t take it personally, or begrudge her the need to protect herself, but he’s sorry she feels like she has to. This is maybe progress, though, her letting him in just a tiny bit. It’s something, anyway.

“Don’t mention it,” he says. “You know I’ve always got your back, right?”

She nods, setting her shoulders with a little sigh. “I’d, um… I’d better go give my statement. About the shooting.”

He watches her walk away, backlit by the flashing squad car lights, and heaves a sigh of his own.


End file.
